So there I stood, five meters above the ground, just about to jump, when suddenly…

Klettergerüst_und_Rutsche_Spielplatz_Jügesheim

Tom always thought much. Nowadays, he thought, we spend most of our time inside not outside. We start our day waking up in our bedroom, then we go through a society of different rooms to refresh ourselves and prepare to the new day. Time went on and Tom soon went out his home to school, where his actions were strictly confined within 4 walls of the classroom, and moreover within the maze of premise’s spatial composition which controlled children movements, thoughts and desires, like a nun with wired eyes.

Tom remembers when once his colleague wanted to rebel this order and went to run through the window right to the school’s atrium, where the children were not allowed to go during the breaks. But Josh was always a stubborn 8-years-old, so his penalty was cruel. The art teacher saw him doing so, and he closed the window block Josh’s only way out.  Although seeing this Josh didn’t take it seriously anyway, but started to run along the atrium jumping and shouting just as he could grasp enough flow in his hands to fly out of the school.

But soon the bell went off and the children who were observing Josh for the whole time, with this typical dose of infantile jealousy indifferently took their backpacks and came back to their classrooms. As well did teachers and cleaners and the school’s conservator. All audience left their seats leaving poor Josh without neither societal interaction nor way to get out of his situation, what made him think for a second about Albert Camus. So as he stood there and he started looking for an exit.

The most clever of all tricks of our school was that it had many interesting spots that seemed to lead us somewhere while leading in fact to dead ends. So many dead ends Josh came across that day, climbing and digging and trying to get through everything that seemed in some way promising him a way out of this nonsense.Tom couldn’t stand the fact that although he felt sorry for Josh miserable situation he had to present his writing about his favourite movie character on this lesson. Of course, there were many things that he couldn’t stand like hungry children in Africa, or hungry children in Asia but these were far away his country, even his playground, and what was happening to Josh was happening right now and right next to him. In fact, this happening was affecting him so much that he could not only hear Josh, but even smell his sweat, like a dead rat suffocated in a cage by a cruel scientist.

He couldn’t stand it any longer so he stood up and bravely raising his two fingers like a gladiator raising the head of the killed opponent he murmured: “Can I go to the bathroom?”. “To the bathroom?” – the teacher asked with a tone of irritation. “So, you think you can just disturb my precisely, and laboriously prepared lesson, or even no, not even my lesson, but even the whole ideally designed and thought-through curriculum, oh, no wait, that’s not even enough to make you understand your arrogance, I will ask you, you young anarchist, do  you want to disturb the whole God’s divine plan and, no, no, no;  that’s not strong enough to make you understand, you …” and this speech proceeded, constructed just as the school’s space, so as to mislead a pupil to make him feel confused trying to look torugh the perplexed sentences’ , which were only entangling more and more. But Tom did not get confused. He said bravely still raising his two fingers to the air, just as the gladiator raises the head of the killed opponent “Yes, I do”.

And out of the classroom was he thrown out.

Some might ask, what made Tom not get disturbed by the teacher’s disturbing speech. Well, its hard to find universal answer for this question, while its source doesn’t lie in the universality, but rather subjectivity of Tom’s perception. You see, while some might argue that in this world our collective value is overwhelming individual awareness, Tom never accepted Marxists’s point of view. His strength lied in his deep faith in his awareness, that flew out of the battlefield of ego and id, and out of societal interference. His sincere relationship with his wife who was himself, and his husband who was himself made him understand that the only right that we always had was the right to dignity.

And Josh understood it too, and that’s why he jumped through the window on that faithful day and that’s why he tried like Icarus fly to Sun, and that’s why, that’s why, so why?

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